Singing Lessons

So I wish I'd had them when I was a child...or at least continued them from spring of sophomore year...because I really can't read music or follow what I'm supposed to be singing without other tenors as support...which is a problem if you're basically only tenor in a group going carolling for Halloween...

I'd like to think that I can sing reasonably well off-the-cuff...but not in this formalized arrangment way without someone to sound off or way more practice than I have time for. The result is that I can sing okay with the group (or at least I think so), but I'm hardly following the notes that I'm supposed to...

I managed more than 6 hours of AHS Capstone today...which would be good...if I'd written more and hadn't realized that I'm not sure I can finish my current paper in 50 pages let alone 20...Hrm...

I think I need a walk.

Sean called tonight; it was nice to catch up with him. Amusingly we talked some about standardized tests and my excessive ego on them...

Robotic ATV what!?!?

In case any of you were wondering what this ATV that I just wrote about looks like...Here's a picture of us moving out from the loading dock.

It's that time of year...

For Massachusetts to turn into a frozen wasteland...erm...winter wonderland. ;-)

Mike, Ben, and I spent ~3 hours in the unheated garage of Edison house today poking and proding the ATV that we received in Wednesday's mail. We managed to get power to the computers and vehicle itself, but weren't able to start the damn thing. Hmm...Monday morning we're going to give it a go with Dave and Bruce (machine shop squad) so we'll see if they can decipher how to start it...

Heh...

Kathy's birthday party and the halloween dance were tonight. There's nothing quite like feeling alone in a crowd to drain the wind from your sails. There was a nice long moment though when I lost myself in having fun; that was cool.

Less cool to see some of the first round of costume contest entrants picked on the basis of who they were and not how impressive their costumes were...There are definitely some incredibly talented costume makers here; I wish I was one of them. Chandra recruited me for her Winny the Poo themed group (it reached nearly 30); I was an athid, a green bug that apparently eats Rabbit's carrot plants. So I thankfully had a costume, but lacking the creativity to generate my own was a little disappointing. I may have a bad memory, but I still recall the days when I was still creative.

Carolling and Coolness

So you can now legally download movies online at www.movielink.com. Sooooo coool! Free $5 rebate is at http://cs.silverpop.com/movielink/affiliate/index.sp/Conde_Nast.

And a group of us are apparently going christmas carolling on Halloween; I really don't have time, but it's so gosh darn relaxing.

Back to work...

Social Justice Reading Group Round 1

Mark Chang started up a social justice reading group. Our first reading was a Martin Luther King speech, Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence. It's amazing. Do we have orators like this anymore?

So much work...and not enough of it relates to my grades/classes...hrmm....

GRE Revelations...

So I'm cracking away at the GRE this weekend (to the abandonment of most of my other work)

Can anyone explain why the hell we have two words: eulogy and elegy that mean nearly the exact same thing...so a speech or a poem...do we really need both?

Also I've always heard the phrases: "Aid and abet" in the context of helping a criminal and "prim and proper" in the context of describing someone who was somewhat stuck up...it turns out that abet means to help, which I would say is the same as "aid" and prim means basically excessively proper. Just seems bizarre to me that both phrases effectively involve saying the the same thing twice...

I wonder if when the artist named Odie he was thinking of the word odious?

Back to studying...Emma's play at Wellesley is tonight, then Kat's birthday and probably a little more studying...at least one practice test tomorrow afternoon...

Test is on Monday afternoon, then Mike and I go to pick up our Civ IV copies...

Revelations (the first of ideally many

Frances and I went to a Yale School of Management Information Session tonight...I was not particularly impressed...there was an interesting lecture by one of their professors on macroeconomic issues, but the admission team did not create an even remotely compelling case for why I should attend Yale...it was a rather odd contrast to the degree of interest that I experienced with both Stanford and HBS.

To clarify, I'm stilling doing this sort of info session because it seems useful to be informed now about decisions I might make at a later date + I'm somewhat interested in the potential to apply for an MBA this year and then defer for 1-2 years...we'll see.

I had an interesting revelation regarding my AHS Capstone and my inability to focus on it today...I actually really don't find this sort of research that doesn't go anywhere to be that interesting. I'm researching for a paper nobody will read and that basically serves no pupose, thus I can't get engaged and have a hard time compelling myself to work on it...In depth research of individual topics like Nuclear Energy just aren't that interesting to me...current thoughts suggest this might have implications for my whole "policy analyst" thing...also talking to Frances today reminded me why I became interested in business in the first place - because I view government as incapable of solving problems and the nonprofit sector as too crushed by the need to secure funding and its limited resources to actually be vehicles for change; business really is the environment with the most potential to actually make an impact... or if not the most, then it's the least tapped at present and thus the largest area for potential growth... I lost sight of that opinion recently and I wonder if that was really a wise idea...

Time to try to write an AHS Capstone outline.

The weekend approacheth

Mentally exhausted.
Physically exhausted.
Emotionally exhausted.
Physically getting sick.
Olinwise sooooooo much work and so little motivation.

I have recently been reminded that I have a hard time storing relaxation energy. Contrary to my previous conjectures I can relax and often do so having conversations with people, reading a book, or playing a game. The problem is that that relaxed feeling dissipates within a relatively short period of time, so I return to the drained/burned-out stage far too quickly. Not particularly sure if there is a solution, but it is definitely irritating.

In other news, my mom sent a shipment of old Nintendo games to Olin so in my "spare" time I think I might start Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask again...also ordered my own personal copy of Civ IV this week - it comes out on Monday the 24th which is also GRE day...I haven't so much as touched a book for that yet...I guess I need to study for the GRE, write a market research plan, and an AHS Capstone outline all this week...should be interesting. Frances and I are also going to a Yale Business School open house - I'll be interested to see if I'm as wowed as I have been by both HBS and Stanford thus far.

A group of us went out to Saraceno in the North End for a SAC Kick Out tonight. The food was expensive and bland and the waiter was pretty irritated that we weren't buying wine and thus driving up the bill. I'm sticking with Sweet Basil from now on when I do Italian food in Boston. It's good and not too expensive.

When I got back, the temptation to simply go to bed was strong, but it occurred to me that I hadn't read any of Comic Book Club's collection since last May, so I decided to do some recon and read a little for fun (since I'm having trouble thinking of another novel to read now that I finished the B5 book Joy loaned me). On the way I ran into Chandra laying in Alex's hammock which resides in the 3rd floor lounge...we ended up chating about random things from when we were kids (elementary school era) and a little about the dreaded "future". I realized today that I really do feel like I need to know the rest of my life now and that I really only get one choice for my life after Olin. I'm horribly afraid of failing to do anything substantive with my life...Thus it must be perfect, thus it is daunting, thus I avoid thinking/planning. I really need a vacation.

So the debate for the next 22 hours is whether I want to spend my Spring break down south building homes for Habitat's Collegiate Challenge with an Olin group or whether I want to use that time for job hunting/relaxing at home.

Returning to the evening...after a couple of other people cycled through Sarah Zwicker came by and was interested in watching Babylon 5, which seemed like a good fit for my mood so we watched the Episode where Garibaldi turned on Sheridan; it was good...now I want to finish watching Season 4 which is less good. I also secured books 5-8 of the Ultimates 2 series so I think I'm going to read those in a few minutes and then go to bed.

Last thought was that we had our first telecon for the StartingBloc Boston Program Board. It was interesting and I think will definitely be a worthwhile experience. One of the other members is an MIT grad from Portland. Pacific Northwest represent!

Anyhow, I need to relax and go to bed. It's going to be a busy week.

So tired...

I don't remember that last time I was actually on top of things. And it's just been getting worse for the past 24 hours.

I need a time machine.

Hotel Rwanda Clarification

So I have actually seen Hotel Rwanda before (I want to say that I saw it last Christmas vacation back home). So the debate was actually whether I would see it again; homework ended up winning unfortunately.

Fear or not returning

Is the fear of not returning to school if I take a break sufficient reason to go now without a direction?

I confess that I'm a little concerned whether I'm letting my possible burnout with education cloud my thoughts of the immediate future to the detriment of the long-term future...

Just more random musings.

I can give blood again

Red Cross changed their rules so now it's 3 months in the UK between 1980-1997 and 5 years since 1980 that will get you banned from donating. Excellent.

FILM is showing Hotel Rwanda tonight; I think I might skip out on work for a while and attend.

Stanford and Sleep Wars

Frances and I went to a Stanford Graduate School of Business information session tonight. It was interesting. I think HBS might be dethrowned in my mind as my preferred MBA program (at least temporarily).

They made an impressive case for Stanford's emphasis on three pedagogies (lecture/discussion, cases, and experiential learning) instead of HBS which focuses nearly exclusively on the case method. I was surprised, I arrived thinking the case method was superior and left realizing that teaching solely through the case approach could lead students to not grasp the broader principles and to always deal with situations similar to those in the case via the "best" approach in the specific case study under discussion.

Also, Stanford's taglines of "Change lives. Change organizations. Change the world" and "We create ideas and develop leaders that change the world". HBS' mission is: "to educate leaders who make a difference in the world". Which one speaks more to me? Which school follows through more? I'm honestly not sure yet, but Stanford definitely made a much more impressive showing than I was expecting.

I was also about to talk to a women pursuing an MBA at Stanford and a MPA (Master in Public Administration) from Harvard's Kennedy School, so that was interesting to consider.

Stanford's smaller size (~300-400 students per year) certainly messes with the size that I've experienced and appreciated at Olin.

Both HBS and Stanford waive the application fee for College seniors...both have the potential for 1-2 year deferral...I think the current permutation of my brain however is that now is not the time for me to be a manager. I think I might need to take a little break from power and see what it's like to not be actively involved in running the show? I'm pretty sure that I want an MBA, but I'm not really sure if I want another Masters-level degree (for example in public policy) to go with it...it feels like I should try to gauge that through the working world before I jump into a joint degree program that I might end up regretting.

Current 3 next year career paths (no I have no idea how to go about doing this):

1. Public Policy Analyst/Think Tank work
2. Knowledge Management/Organizational Consultant
3. International Development (in particular through perhaps the World Bank or a small technology-based organization)

Soo...I suppose I am moving, even if slowly, to a thought of specific options for next year. I think my current favorite plan is to try both the international development and the policy work over the next 1-2 years and, based on that information, make a decision about where to go next.

I also thought I'd inform you all about my suite's new game: Sleep Wars. Basically the premise is that you get points based on when you go to bed relative to the others in the suite. There are three teams:

1. Alex/Mike - Each can gain a point for being the FIRST of the six of us to go to bed.
2. Me/Steve - Each can gain a point for being the LAST of the six of us to go to bed.
3. Nick/Adam - Each can gain a point for being either the FIRST or the LAST of the six of us to go to bed.

There is competition within the teams themselves (so I compete with Steve) and between teams. The decision of which actions would lead to points was based on the premise that Alex and Mike go to bed the earliest, Steve and I go to bed the latest, and Adam and Nick are generally in the middle of the road.

The current ranking is:

1. Alex - 7
   
2. Steve - 3.5
   
3. Will - 2.5
   
4. Mike - 2
   
5. Nick & Adam - 1

As I type, Adam recides in our lounge waiting for me to go to sleep so he can carry the late position for the evening. On Saturday night, Steve and I were up talking until ~4:30, so we called that evening a tie if you were wondering about the .5's.

Back to either the bed or the grindstone...haven't quite decided yet.

Serenity, Partners in Health, stuff

I went with around 20 Oliners to see Serenity on Friday; I definitely recommend it, though you should probably watch a couple of episodes of Firefly first...

On Saturday, Alison Lee and I took a trip to Harvard to attend Partners in Health's 12th Annual Thomas J. White Symposium. It consisted of a briefing on what PIH was doing and an award ceremony for two of the people who made its work in Haiti possible. Paul Farmer also spoke near the end, but for me the most interesting element was the outside commentator who spoke. Philip Gourevitch, the author of We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda, gave a talk about the difference between rhetoric and action/intention. He talked about Rwanda and the flaw of language that allows people to refer to the West's "failure" to act. A failure implies that the West attempted to intervene and failed. Instead what happened was a remarkably successful campaign to not become involved. He also talked about the well-meaning charities who, when the tide of the conflict turned, found themselves ministering to the perpetrators of the genocide after they fled the country. It didn't seem like Gourevitch did a particularly good job linking his material back to PIH, but it was a good talk nonetheless.

I started my OSS reading on System Dynamics while we were waiting to try to get into the talk - and wow...it's awesome. I should have listened to Gill and tried this before. One reading is enough to make me want to fill my schedule with courses in modeling next semester...why did I have to find this when I was about to graduate?

Last night consisted of a long walk/conversation with Kim followed by an introduction to Puzzle Pirates, the puzzling sensation that is sweeping through the Jon/Miks/Sean/Drew/Mike/Chris crowd. Steve's afraid to play because he knows he would get totally sucked in. Also included was a long thoughtful chat with Steve about life, Olin, and the quest for happiness. People consistently surprise me...I wonder why that is?

Doing laundry with the crazy non-coin operated machines at the moment and suppose it's time to hit the books hardcore, since I didn't really accomplish that yesterday.